Remembering Timm (d. 4/18/2008)

To commemorate the fifth anniversary of Timm's passing, I went through the scanned photo archives to find these pictures, most of which haven't appeared here before. (Thanks again to Beth's father Wade, who has scanned most of Timm's slides into digital format. Without his work this blog would not have been possible.)

The light in those pictures is what remains of Timm, mostly, that and our memories of him. The light endures, as does the grace, the beauty, the simplicity, the joy, the childlike wonder of these pictures. Much still to remember of Timm through these traces. 

Click on the image If you'd like to view the pictures in slideshow format. Just know that there's a writing by Timm in the middle of the post that you'll miss.

And feel free to leave a message for Timm in the comments section. Let him and us know what you've been up to. 

I've heard it said that after we're gone, the only thing that remains is the memory of our good acts. God has forgiven the rest. The gold in Timm's heart is like autumn leaves in the forest or a sea of yellow tabebouia flowers fallen on the grass in early spring. Enduring. Sweet. Childlike. Pure. All Timm.

Miss you, brother -- 

This was shot by Timm the weekend before he passed away.

Taken by Will at Timm's memorial.

 

From Timm's Bolivia trip in 2003.

This, from a note Timm wrote to Christie in Sept. 2007:

There's been a feeling I've struggle with over the past few weeks, not a bad feeling, just one I couldn't quite put a name to.  It hasn't been constant - coming and going, but mostly coming.  There is a sense of peace, serenity and a touch of joy - all aspects, but not what I'm truly feeling.  I'm comfortable in my own skin and found myself thanking God for my life just as it is.  

I spent a couple hours walking this afternoon - enjoying the warmth of the late summer day, and found myself drifting back to this feeling that settled in my soul.  Finally I found its name: Contentment.  

I stopped in the middle of the trail stunned by the realization, repeating the word several times.  It's been years since I've felt this - perhaps momentary glimpses have crossed my path but they've never taken root.  I've prayed for a long time that I might finally know contentment - brought acutely home while applying for the Peace Corps a few years ago.  Deep down I knew that while I'd finally get to "go" somewhere, I'd always be on the outside looking in - never would I be able to settle in since I'd never be content.  Contentment is like joy - an internally driving entity, completely devoid of external surroundings.  Both come not from gelling but by being.  

I knew when I began praying for contentment 2 years ago that it would be a painful process and for once I was right.  I wanted every one of my dreams - these things I believed would bring earnestness - died.  I kept saying it felt like I was being dragged through a mouse hole ass backwards.  All that I thought would bring meaning, purpose and fulfillment was striped away.  For months I numbly stumbled my way through a fog, repeatedly stating that I didn't know which direction to turn for career or friends, solace of love.  I was utterly lost.

Looking at the trappings of my life today I would say not much has changed, but I've changed.  Something inside has taken root, like a forest fire that devastates the woods one summer, but come spring tender green shoots rise from the ground.  It's nothing short of a miracle.  

I couldn't help but think about what is in my life today that fosters this contentment.  My friends, you  and Ken especially, AA meetings, focusing my vision on a spiritual life, steady work, pursuing photography, getting sleep, eating healthier and most importantly, maintaining contact with God.  I also need to add, staying connected to and living from my heart.   

Beauty Heals